Maybe the whole point is fun
What if the point of this life were enjoyment?
What if the purpose of being here was to move toward the people, places and activities that genuinely allure us — the stuff that feels fun, piques our interests and lights us up?
Sounds nice, right? But too good to be true?
I used to think so.
When I look back at pictures of me as a kid, it’s clear that I’ve always been the serious type. It was written all over my face.
It’s like I was born with the ingrained belief that life isn’t supposed to be easy or fun. If we’re lucky, we get some great moments, but otherwise, there’s work to be done. Chores. Obligations. Responsibilities. None of this is fun, but it’s required. The best we can do is be efficient with our various tasks so then maybe we can enjoy ourselves. Note: Enjoyment will typically involve food, drinks, or TV. After that, back to the drudge.
It sounds so depressing when I spell it out like this, but it has been my unconscious perspective, and if we’re being honest with ourselves, it’s how a lot of us live. We trudge and grind and live for the weekends or whatever idiosyncratic pinnacles we set out ahead. We’re simultaneously stressed, anxious, depressed and often managing a sickness of some kind.
What if that whole premise is backward?
Is it spoiled and indulgent to think that we could base our lives around what we enjoy and make fun among our top priorities?
Maybe.
Or maybe not.
I would have previously said that if this were the case, everyone would quit life and veg out on a beach, or never emerge from their video games. But when you stop and think about it, those kinds of things aren’t actually enjoyable in perpetuity. They’re great when we’re burned out or desperate for a distraction. Then they get old.
Of course, there is a lot of pain and suffering in the world. You may be going through a hard time right now, yourself. Please don’t feel daunted or think I’m being cavalier. Even with these things being true, we could all benefit from more joy.
I’ve come to think that, in reality, if we could all gravitate toward enjoyment by more fervently pursuing our interests or making it a priority to find fun in what we do, the world wouldn’t come completely undone. It might be a better place, full of ingenuity, inspiration and goodness. We wouldn’t all necessarily become irresponsible, flaky slouches. We might instead be more upbeat, energized, solution oriented and deeply good to each other.
But all that’s hypothetical. What I can say for sure is that I’ve been doing this recently — specifically the looking for/creating fun part — and it has been promising.
I wrote not long ago about realizing that I needed to change up some things in my daughter’s routine because I was constantly stressed by trying to manage her various special needs to perfection. I was giving 100 percent to too many little details and having nothing left for anything else. Until I had a breakdown.
To be clear, this was not because of her. I lost it because of my own rigid outlook and extremely committed, but ultimately too intense, approach. Any parent can do that.
So, after one Sunday afternoon where I more or less lost my mind, I realized I needed to let some things go. As I subsequently loosened my grip, new space and breathing room almost immediately opened up. I wasn’t initially sure what to do with that newfound downtime, but that’s when I started thinking about fun. I actually had the energy to go there.
And it’s been a nice change.
In the last few weeks, my family and I have had more fun than in the months before that combined. We’ve spent a lot of time swimming. We sampled our first local attraction (the aquarium). We’ve had play dates and spent more time with friends. We even started taking the kids out to eat from time to time, which we had literally never done before as a foursome. I was too overwhelmed.
I’ve tried to make the doing of tasks more enjoyable, too. Sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn’t, but it involves a lot of music and impromptu dance parties. We call them “musical dance experiences,” a nod to the show “Severance” on Apple TV+, which, by the way, is fun to watch.
I definitely still catch myself in a scurry to do all the things so I can get to my “fun” destination (i.e. watching “Severance”), but that dynamic hasn’t been quite as stark since I decided to undertake Mission: Fun.
Maybe this could be your mission, too.
Even if you’re already a fun person (salud, that’s awesome), how could you make today even more playful? Or say you have a full day of things you don’t particularly relish — how could you make little shifts so it’s lighter and more enjoyable? Could having fun be your new ambition?
These questions are a good place to start. They prime us for those little edits, which are really what this is all about. Sure, every moment of every day won’t be a 10 out of 10, but there’s room for all of us to raise the bar and inch increasingly toward a life that’s rooted in enjoyment.
I now see that as good for each of us, all of us, and as the point of this whole dang thing.