Stop cutting yourself down with your words
It’s impossible to feel good if you talk a lot of smack.
My goal as a yoga teacher is to help students feel strong and vibrant through physicality, and part of the body that cannot be ignored to this end — is the mouth.
When our words are full of complaining, negativity and digs at ourselves (my personal specialty), everything about our presence is less bright. We render ourselves less powerful, less attractive, and even less healthy.
This can be super sneaky.
A few years ago, I noticed myself using the word “just” to describe a lot of what I had going on. “I just teach yoga.” “It’s just a cookbook [that I wrote].” I would have celebrated this stuff for other people. I minimized it for myself.
More recently, my husband pointed out that I frequently end sentences with “but,” “so,” “I don’t know,” or just a shrug. As far as I can see, dangling sentences seems to happen for a few reasons. Sometimes explicitly completing thoughts feels arduous or even unnecessary — the implication is strong enough. But lot of times, self-doubt is lurking. Either way, danglers and habitual “I don’t knows” lack authority and confidence. Like “just,” they subtly play us small.
Poking at ourselves can be overt, too. “I’m an idiot.” “I’m terrible at…” “I can’t do…” “I look like sh#@.”
All these examples point to rooted insecurities (whether they’re sly and seemingly insignificant or sharp and direct), and giving them a voice only solidifies them more.
The good news is that language gives us a concrete way to knead into these deeper doubts.
Now when I hear myself trailing off and sheepishly not completing a thought, selling myself short, or straight-up being mean to me, I recognize that I just caught the manifestation of an insecurity. Nice. I then attempt to choose differently. Rephrase and carry on.
I’ll admit that sometimes I believe the insult too much to edit it out, but even just having more awareness is a step in the right direction.
So join me. Instead of unconsciously playing small, let’s choose to be big and bright. One fabulous word at a time.