What we need to do to thrive
The most important thing we can do has nothing to do with actions or achievement. It has to do with how we show up.
What’s standing out to me lately is that to be successful — in a job, in parenting, in whatever it is we take on — mastering skills and “getting it right” matters starkly less than the quality of our energy.
Being joyful and inspired is the secret sauce. Figuring out how to live from that fertile space is the most important thing we can do to connect with a sense of purpose and thrive.
My husband and I got to talking about this over the weekend. We were discussing all the things we want to expose our kids to and how we want to steer clear of the bazillion mistakes on our radar. The conversation stressed me out.
It’s a lot of pressure, and none of it really holds up when you take a step back. It matters, sure, but it’s fundamentally not the most critical stuff. It misses something deeper and more true. In a nutshell: beyond unconditionally loving our kids, the most powerful thing we can do for them is to be good and stable ourselves. Then, the tone is right. We’re bound to project on them less. The environment is ripe with enrichment and empowerment. The scene is set for them to wholeheartedly takeoff.
This kind of thing applies in so many contexts. Say, work life.
It’s natural to desire a certain level of success and believe achieving it will bring joy and satisfaction. But that rarely seems to work.
On the other hand, when folks are inspired, loving what they’re up to, in the flow, their work is most satisfying and likely to draw attention. So, it’s probably better to stop trying to figure it all out or be perfect. Focus on finding enjoyment in what whatever it is that we do, instead.
Thus, the question becomes: How can you do that? How can you live a more inspired and joyful life? How can you set your own stage for success in this way?
I know it can sound far-off and lofty: “Live in a joyful and inspired state.” That’s tripped me up in the past. But as I’ve reflected on this more, it’s actually quite simple.
More joy and inspiration is just a matter of tuning into these qualities moment by moment. It’s about being attentive to recognize the beauty in the here and now or change something so we can. Then do it again. And again.
For sure, we’re not going to be happy all the time. That’s not the point. The idea is to be where we are. To meet each moment with acceptance and softness and make it as bright as we can. That can be as basic as lighting a candle, playing enjoyable music, taking a deep and nourishing breath, finding pleasure.
Living in an inspired and joy-filled place basically comes down to “following your bliss” as Joseph Campbell famously put it. When that “action” is our moment-by-moment priority, we position ourselves to flourish. And it’s not hard. It starts right now. Choose to welcome brightness right now. Then do it again. And again. And again. And again…
Then all those moments, even if we miss a few, come together to form a deeply satisfying and beautiful day, and life.
