Bold self-love is scary but empowering
I have nice legs.
I used to be insecure that they were lanky, but I now see them as long and beautiful. I also love my back. Yoga has helped form good posture and relieve pain. My face is pretty. My belly is a little softer after having two kids, but it’s strong, feminine and lived in.
It feels weird to say these things. It’s so much more natural to pick ourselves apart. That’s safer, too. No one is going to tear you down or assume you have a big head.
But I want to fully experience and appreciate this life. I want to be bold and bright, and have a full capacity to love and serve others. That requires self-love.
Self-love isn’t woo-woo or selfish. On a basic level, it’s about being kind — i.e., not beating ourselves up all the time; being willing and eager to give praise.
This topic has been on my mind since my recent column about the Love Your Belly Movement: “A movement designed to encourage women to stand tall, live bravely, dream BIG and celebrate their perfect bellies exactly as they are,”created by Hailley Wollak and Gina-Marie Vincent Runnels. One of their main suggestions? Regularly naming three to five things you love about yourself. It’s a fabulous self-love how-to.
Sure, you could sound like a self-obsessed jerk if you always walk around talking about how perfect you are — like you have something to prove. But that arrogant vibe is quite different from treating yourself the way you would treat a friend (or, as I like to think, my kids): with free-flowing praise, a commitment to honesty and constant compassion.
When I listened to Wollak and Runnels compliment themselves, it didn’t sound conceited or threatening. It sounded healthy and inspiring.
Nonetheless, revealing some of the sweet nothings I’ve been starting to whisper in the privacy of my own head is definitely uncomfortable. I deleted the opening lines of this column multiple times. They ultimately lived because vocalizing ideas helps them stick — and I want that for all of us.
If you’re with me, try mentally calling out things you love about yourself. Do it as often as you remember. I suggest starting with physical attributes because focus is helpful, but any kind words will do.
The practice may surprise you. It’s about so much more than looks. It has helped me appreciate what works, what feels well and what’s beautiful even without being “perfect.”
I suggest starting in your head. If it feels right, share with people you trust. Share with me!
Let’s inspire each other, savor what we’ve got and live the heck out of this life.