Simple virtue of kindness can leave a trace for decades
In a world that can sometimes seem cold, divided, and full of pain, kindness is a ray of hope. Its light radiates through hardships and can mend broken spirits, build bridges, and generally transform lives.
If you have any doubt about the power of this simple virtue, talk to Pam Lewis.
She’s board president of Compassionate Houston, an organization with chapters across the country that aims to grow the compassionate culture “through awareness, education, community and service” on local levels.
Lewis knows kindness and compassion, and not just because it’s her job. She walks the walk by doing things like putting anonymous signs on restaurant doors to let passersby know how wonderful the food and service are. She looks for ways to show warmth and grace.
She has also been touched deeply by kindness, herself.
For example, in 1999, Lewis’ mom was undergoing intense treatment for leukemia in the protected environment unit at MD Anderson. She says part of the treatment required white blood cell infusions, and qualifying to donate WBCs was difficult. She and two other eligible family members went through the arduous process and eagerly gave their blood, but they still needed more.
Lewis says she was in despair about finding other donors.
“Then I received a cold call from a total stranger trying to sell me investments,” she recalls.
The stranger started the call with pleasantries and asked how Lewis was doing. Lewis replied honestly. She told the woman over the phone about her mother, and the total stranger’s response was extraordinary. She said, “I am young, healthy and more than willing to help out here, just tell me where to go.”
And the woman followed through.
She went to MD Anderson several times, and Lewis says she asked for nothing in return.
“I had never experienced or contemplated an act of compassion like this. It felt at the time that an enormous weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I could breathe again.”
The experience was so impactful, it upsurged Lewis’ faith and interest in kindness and compassion. She took these subjects on as a study and a mission. Just one manifestation of that: Project Kindness, an initiative she started in 2015, has practical takeaways for us all.
The basic idea was that Lewis arranged for younger people to interview older folks about the most profound experiences of kindness in their lives.
The responses were both inspiring and eye-opening.
A 91-year-old recalled how distant relatives had sponsored her to relocate to the United States 65 years prior, after Germany had been devastated during World War II.
An 86-year-old spoke of the night her husband died of a heart attack when he was 41 years old. She said 12 hours after his death, even though she hadn’t reached out, her best friend from college showed up at her doorstep — just to be there.
An 89-year-old shared a similar story. An old friend stayed with her the night her husband died so she wouldn’t be alone.
A 91-year-old talked about how she initiated contact with an old best friend with whom she’d had a falling out. It had happened almost 60 years prior, but she still felt touched by the friend’s openness and reciprocation to her bid. It led to healing and a lifelong bond.
The participants also talked about their own memorable acts of kindness.
An 86-year-old recalled taking care of her dying husband at home, in the way he wished, when they were both in their mid-40s. “He expressed continual gratitude and positive feedback to me over the nine months he lived … This had not been our pattern before.” She spoke of the courage and confidence she gained through that, even though it was undoubtedly one of the most intense and emotionally charged experiences of her life.
Project Kindness is still ongoing. More recently, interviews have been conducted by college students. Lewis says the themes in residents’ responses remain consistent: “unexpected help … at a time of great loss or need.”
Little acts of everyday kindness and care are valuable. Holding a door open, lending a helping hand, sharing kind words, smiling — these things make days better.
And it’s worth knowing that showing up for someone in their darkest hours will affect them for a lifetime.
Lewis runs Project Kindness and shares these stories in hopes of cultivating more compassion. The stories are touching. They feel good to hear and share, and ideally, they’re inspiration.
Kindness heals, and it benefits givers as well as receivers.
It’s sometimes a matter of showing up or rising to the occasion before us with the most open heart we can summon. Other times it might be a nice note on a restaurant door. Whatever form it takes, it’s always a beautiful gift. Let’s join Lewis and look for ways to offer it liberally … starting today.
