If it makes you nervous, you’re probably on the right track
If doing something makes you feel nervous, dig in. Nerves coincide with opportunity.
I come up against this every week with this very column. It’s scary to put the work that I care about (and myself) out there!
I keep going because the idea of quitting is worse. Turning away feels almost like killing part of myself. I know that sounds dramatic, but fleeing out fear would be dishonoring something that’s important to me. The idea churns up something that I can best describe as the opposite of self-respect.
This also came up in a major way when my decade-long relationship ended a few years ago. The thought of being alone was terrifying. I didn’t know what I would do. But a friend and teacher reminded me of just this:
Stepping outside of the box will always be scary, but it’s the only way to grow, enter new territory, and sometimes even survive.
I’m not saying we need to hunt for things that scare us or do dumb stuff, but when the sensation comes up, it’s worth investigating. If moving away from the source feels even worse than nerves — if it makes you feel depressed, small, or some degree of dead inside — then lean into the scary instead. One step at a time.
What follows might not always be pretty or even work. But this is ultimately a pathway toward greater possibility and really being alive.