Gratitude is good for us. Here’s a way to practice it this week.
It’s the season of gratitude, counting our blessings, celebrating the harvest. That’s the idea, anyway.
In reality, it’s pretty easy to go through the motions. To complain about our turkeys and families and either forget or brush off what the tradition is supposedly about.
So, let’s take a beat and reflect on that – to acknowledge the spirit of the season, its value, and how we might bring it to life (both this holiday, and through the rest of the year).
Because gratitude is extremely high-impact.
Research points to how it improves basically every outcome — physically, mentally, psychologically, emotionally, you name it. In my own experience and observation, it’s so crystal clear: Gratitude directly affects happiness and well-being. I would even go as far as to say that we enjoy our lives in equal proportion to how grateful we feel. It’s a virtue that’s worth taking seriously and consciously integrating in ways that will stick.
One way we’ve done this in my house has changed my marriage, and it’s also become one of the best parts of my week. It’s a little thing we call “Appreciation Monday.”
I told my friend about this recently, and she visibly cringed at the thought of trying it with her husband. “That’s so lame,” she said.
It is.
It’s weird and uncomfortable and very tempting to never try once, nevermind undertake regularly. But I swear, it’s worth it.
The practice is simple: you and your partner (significant other, or anyone you love and trust) take turns saying all the things you appreciate about the other.
One of you starts and talks for a minute or two, however long it takes. This isn’t a premeditated thing; preparing remarks is explicitly not the idea.
Instead, each side simply pauses for a moment to reflect, and then speaks, sharing whatever comes to mind. The other person silently listens and takes it in. Then switch.
I can’t say enough how awesome this feels.
My husband and I don’t say earth-shattering things to each other, but it feels so good to be seen and valued. Last week, he told me I’m the best mom. It’s the most subjective thing he could say, but then he elaborated. He talked about some of the things he had observed, some of the moments he’d caught, the random things I’d done and said in the days’ prior. I had no idea that any of it was on his radar, so for him to bring it up in detail, with gratitude, moved me to tears. It totally filled me up.
I recommend trying this out with someone dear to you this week. Maybe in the spirit of the holiday, you really launch out of your comfort zone and try it with a few people. That would be so brave.
Thanksgiving is the perfect moment to dip a toe (or nosedive!) into something like this, and then consider making it a regular thing.
Incorporating more gratitude means incorporating more goodness and enjoyment. I hope that’s the case for you this Thanksgiving Day, and every day.
