How negative is the voice in your head?
We talk to ourselves all day long in our heads, and often, the tone and topics skew negative.
I first noticed this because of the way conversations tend to go.
When someone asks: “How are you?” and the response is “good,” the conversation dead-ends. If things are going reasonably well, they’re almost unremarkable. There’s not much to say.
But when the opposite is true, when something is wrong, when there’s something to complain about, that’s a different story. Then we can dig in. We can go on and on.
I’ve noticed the same dynamic in my mind.
Say I had a nice conversation yesterday. I might reflect on it today and think, “that was great; what a good friend.”
If the conversation went poorly, forget about it. I could spend all day replaying and rehashing. I could think it to death.
Have you noticed something similar?
Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how it’s not insignificant.
Our thoughts determine our mental state, which determines our perspective and attitude. They set the stage for how we interact with and see everyone and everything in our path. We simply cannot carry a lot of negativity in our minds and still have peaceful and satisfied lives.
I have been part of the health and wellness industry for a long time now. It started with fitness, then healthy eating, and I now consider this — the domain of our thoughts — to be the most critical aspect of well-being.
So, here’s one thing to consider: If you were to ballpark right now, how often would you say you think in negative terms? How often does negativity infiltrate and overshadow your day? Be honest. There’s no judgment here.
I’m not going to offer tips and tools for how to change anything. I’m guessing we’d all like to knock our numbers down, and I’m still investigating how that might realistically be done. For now, I just want to put this on our radar. It’s something to start noticing through the course of the days. It’s a way to increase general awareness of our thought world and get to know ourselves better (self-awareness is probably the most under-appreciated seed of real self-growth).
Part of my work in this process has been complete forgiveness and acceptance, moment by moment, for the redundant festering negativity I notice in my head. It tends to be spurred by the same things day in and day out (“I’m so sick of putting everyone’s shoes away!!!”). It’s interesting to experience a thought and notice it at the same time; it takes some of the emotional charge away. But again, the purpose of starting to note this is really just for data collection.
There’s surely more to do with this down the line, but for now, this is a small and mighty step. And I’m sure it’s a positive journey.
