It’s time to give yourself more credit

We humans have a nagging way of being our own worst enemies.

I’ve been battling myself for years, which is why I often write about how to intercept destructive thoughts and consciously integrate more loving ones. It can create subtle but powerful shifts.

But we don’t always cut ourselves down in such obvious ways.

Take, for example, the question I answer nightly while getting ready for bed: “How did I help someone today?”

While brushing my teeth, I answer five prompts on a dry-erase board. The one that begins “I helped someone today by …” frequently trips me up.

I don’t deliver groceries to an elderly neighbor or make regular donations to the food bank. I don’t volunteer or freely give out money on the street. I find myself frequently thinking, “I’m not doing enough. I should be doing more.”

Then the other day, I heard a passing comment about how parenthood is one of the most selfless acts of service there is. I got the chills.

Sure, I may not be rescuing kittens, but I am the only person who gives my mostly tube-fed, special-needs 2-year-old all her meals. I bring her to 10-20 doctor and therapy appointments a week. I clean up her vomit, daily, and give her 11-plus medicines a day.

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I have an 11-month-old son (who seems frighteningly eager to hurt himself), too. We get a lot of help, but 90 percent of my day is devoted to my kids and serving their needs. Of course, that’s my job, and I always want to be on the lookout for ways to contribute more, but in staring blankly at that whiteboard, I’ve been overlooking and discounting some of the greatest things I do.

I think this is common — for moms, and for everyone.

Just like it’s tempting to take the most wonderful things we have for granted, it’s easy to discount the most wonderful things we do. It’s not poor-intentioned; a lot of times, it’s an honest oversight. But it’s not helpful or kind.

So, I invite you to consider where you may be discounting yourself. If you find an area or two, that means you’ve got more room to feel good. Take it!