The most important choices we make
The quality of our lives comes down to how we make basic, everyday choices.
We think it’s the big decisions that matter most. Buying a house, getting married, getting divorced. But in the scheme of things, that’s the small stuff.
At least that’s how energy healer and bestselling author Caroline Myss sees things, and her TEDx talk on this subject rocked my world.
Myss looks for patterns that contribute to sickness and health. She digs into why so many of us are chronically exhausted, aching and a little down — if not totally miserable. Her conclusion: the power of choice is everything.
She identifies broad choices that create healthfulness and vitality. They’re big-picture choices, through which we can filter everyday decisions.
Mysss knows she can’t provide “proof in a basket” for her ideas. But if they settle “like good chicken soup,” they may be right for you.
Have a taste:
1. Choose integrity.
Myss says this is more than “I’m a good person.” She says it’s full scale “I’m going to walk the way I talk.”
This is a fierce commitment to doing what we know is right–to consistently acting by what we say we believe.
Myss says this is a choice not to betray or compromise ourselves. We don’t blame others, hurt or hold them captive, or abide in moral crises. We extricate the words “entitled,” “blame,” and “deserve” from our minds and vocabularies (Myss makes “choosing new words” its own category, but I like how it ties in here).
The idea is to be fully honest with ourselves and accountable.
We know right from wrong. We know when we’re shirking responsibility or are being unkind. We can try to justify these things and pretend they’re fine, but Myss’s observation is that our bodies don’t fall for it. She says: “liars don’t heal,” which I find piercing and intriguing.
She considers integrity to be a prerequisite for genuine wellbeing.
2. Pass on wisdom, not suffering.
We all have pain. It can make us wise, or it can make us bitter. We choose.
There are big examples of this. Malala Yousafzai didn’t retreat into fear and suffering after being shot in the head by the Taliban. Instead, she became even more active and vocal for girls getting an education. She picked wisdom, and it’s safe to say she’s passed that on.
This also comes up in smaller ways, in everyday life. Any time we’re in the dumps, this choice is on the table.
To be clear, this isn’t about denying pain. Myss says given that our pain is real, and we can’t make it go away, we’re left to decide if it will be a source of wisdom or woe. Whichever we select, we share.
3. Take risks.
Myss says that when we fall ill, we dwell on regrets, even when we’re bound to bounce right back.
She says we begin reviewing our lives when strength and stamina diminish, and as you might suspect, chances not taken can feel worse than failures.
Myss suggests paying attention to when we’re inclined to duck opportunities for fear of being alone, humiliated or unsure of what others might think.
She says the path to a vibrant life is not the same as the safe path.
Make the choice to take chances.
4. Get up and bless each day.
This is about gratitude. Choose to infuse each day with gratitude — not for what we have or how we feel, but for being alive.
Myss says this choice alone can dissolve bitterness and make us more wholly present in our lives.
She urges us to consider these words: “I will never see the person having breakfast with me again just this way. No, nothing in my life like this will ever come again … [this] choice … should shape the life around you with such grace and such beauty.”
That feels even better than chicken soup to me.
