Instead of ‘finding your purpose,’ stop and enjoy the moment
What are you passionate about? What is your calling? What is your purpose?
I can hear Oprah’s voice in my head. She raised a generation of us to consider these questions. They’re critical to the pursuit of a meaningful life, right?
Well, sure. Maybe. But lately I’ve found myself stressed out and even ticked off by such lofty inquiries and the confusion and despair I feel them conjure up. Don’t get me wrong, I love you, Momma Oprah. I’m sure I just missed something. This is me, not you. Obviously.
But still, recently I’m aware of how I’ve floated from one job and opportunity to the next, and even entered motherhood, with these unanswered questions jabbing me like pesky little daggers in the background. Don’t get me wrong, being stalked in this way is a privilege. It’s a great honor to live in a time and place where possibilities and opportunities are more abundant than ever before. It’s amazing, and terrifying.
So, in a recent spout of agita over this blessed existential crisis, I tried all the old tricks to glean clarity: journaling, talking to friends, reading self-help and spiritual texts, seeing a therapist, going to church, meditating, and yes, watching Oprah. Here’s what I came up with.
1. We all have the same purpose. It is to be happy.
2. Pursuing happiness is also kind of a trip, so just enjoy this moment.
In other words, stop trying to figure it all out. The path to passion lies in enjoying right now. When that happens, we’re happier. And when we’re happier, life works better. It flows. We experience joy and ease and an authentic way of living — hallmarks of a life with passion and purpose — and that guides us fluidly toward more of the same. You may never be able to clearly articulate your calling, but in this approach, that ceases to matter. Life becomes subtly infused with beauty and meaning.
Now, that sounds nice. I get it intellectually, but “enjoy the moment” is almost as vague as “find your purpose” or “just be happy.” I love the sentiments, but that nagging question remains. How?
A wise friend, life coach Kelly Seibert, suggested that when I start to feel angst arise, or really, whenever I’m mindful enough to be able to take a step back, ask: Am I enjoying this moment? If yes, proceed. If no, change something.
Seibert’s advice: When possible, do what you enjoy; when you can’t, change the way you’re doing it.
I resisted this at first. Some situations stink, and that’s that. But after taking a deep breath, of course she’s right. There’s always something we can change to infuse joy into the moment. Even moments that do, objectively, stink.
But could this really be the answer to finding your life’s purpose? Step back, take the pressure off, enjoy right now, repeat? That’s it?
I can’t say for sure. Only time will tell exactly where this leads. But at least while the destination is unclear, the journey will be more fun.