“The best thing we can do for each other is take genuine care of ourselves.”
That’s the banner on my website, and I wholeheartedly believe that consciously and intelligently tending to our own gardens makes us healthier and happier and the world a better place. I wrote about this in my column last week.
But we also need to take care of each other.
Giving, service, cooperation, generosity—these are more than virtues, they’re glue. Healing and revitalizing glue! This is the stuff that holds us together when times are tough. It’s what turns our individual gardens into gorgeous, robust, resilient landscapes. We need each other to get through rough patches, and to flourish.
There are so many great quotes about this.
Simon Sinek: “When we help ourselves, we find moments of happiness. When we help others, we find lasting fulfillment.”
Ryunosuke Satoro: “Individually, we are one drop. Together, we are the ocean.”
Albert Einstein: “Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile.”
Service is as nourishing for givers as it can be lifesaving for receivers. Self-love is important because it gives us healthy, sturdy legs to be a stand for others, and in the big picture, that’s the whole point. Fulfillment starts as an inside job, service and togetherness takes it over the line.
So, let’s talk about how to do that, because what typically comes to mind when words like “service” and “giving” come up is volunteering, or writing checks, or generally doling out dollars and time in one way or another. These options don’t always feel right or possible.
That’s OK.
I think what we’re really after is deeper than material contributions.
There’s a yogic concept called Seva. It’s essentially defined as selfless service, or giving, with no expectation of anything in return.
The second part of that is what stands out to me. Seva isn’t merely about charity or giving things away. It’s also a mindset — a decision not to keep score or attach strings. It says that how we give is just as important as what we give.
To me, this takes pressure off and widens the scope of what service can entail. It can be so many little things.
It can be letting someone go ahead of you in line or in traffic. Telling others what you appreciate about them and liberally giving compliments.
Holding a door open. Turning toward someone in pain. Sharing a meal. Lending a hand. Being a mentor. Basically all of parenting.
Giving doesn’t have to involve money, nonprofits and grand gestures. These things are great if/when we can do them, but a life of service can also consist of small, daily offerings of care. It can look like a life that’s full of kindness. I think there just needs to be a conscious intention and willingness to share the best we can, moment by moment, without expectations.
So, yes, self-love is important. A whole, balanced person loves themselves and has an intrinsically generous spirit.
This, I believe, marks a beautiful, deeply fulfilling life.