Do you ever feel like you’re spinning your wheels?
Like you’re working…. going…. doing… expending…
But you don’t see results.
You’re not getting anywhere.
Nothing is changing.
Say you want to lose weight.
You research what foods to eat. You buy all the things. You make new and weird recipes (they don’t taste great, and they take a lot of time). You read more. You listen to podcasts. You get some newsletters and a pampflet from the doctor. You’ve got lots of data, and you’re trying mightily to use it well. Then, someone mentions intermittent fasting. Well, shoot, maybe you should do that too. Now, in between eating more antioxidants, superfoods, and juicing, you fast. It all takes a lot of mental effort. You’re tired and hungry, and nothing is changing.
It’s kind of like when my cookbook came out in 2015. I wanted to give it traction, so when it hit the shelves, I hit the ground running. I did all the things: social media posts ad naseum (at least to me), newspaper, TV, and podcast interviews. I asked random people on the street to buy it (literally). I met with PR people, collaborated with other authors, did book signings, hosted free events… all the things. I was running. Sales … were not.
These are two examples of a common trap. We frequently think activity is the answer to getting where we want to go.
Action works better.
This coaching tool (from one of my favorite resources, Coach Anyone about Anything, by Germaine Porche and Jed Niederer), helps display what I mean.
The common pitfall I’m describing is depicted on top.
It goes like this:
- We develop a rough idea of what the goal/desired outcome looks like.
- Think hard about that problem. How will I sell books? How will I lose weight?
- Activity: Do all the things that could possibly help. Throw spaghetti at the wall.
Enter exhaustion, spinning, and disappointment.
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Focusing on action, turns this paradigm on its head. It’s a recipe for less frustration and largely better results.
It goes:
- Take time to envision the future. This is the most critical step. It’s the biggest piece of the puzzle. What does the desired future look like? How does it feel? We dwell here to get a clear sense of how the desired outcome looks and feels.
- Out of the reflection in step 1, name all the possible steps—all the things one could do to reach that desired outcome. Write this stuff down. All of it.
- From that broad list, select narrowed, targeted action steps. There is no flurry of activity. No busyness. We choose a limited number of intentional actions that will each produce specific named outcomes.
For losing weight, here’s how this could look.
1 — I develop a vision. In it, I feel healthy and well. No aches and pains. I can do what I want to do. I have energy. I like what I see when I look in the mirror: someone who takes good care of themselves—someone who is strong.
This step involves sitting with this picture and diving into it deeply. I’m giving a brief description, but in practice, it would help to journal and take time to really imagine how the desired outcome would look. If you find yourself feeling excited by what you see in your vision, you’re doing it right!
2 — As this vision comes into view and I feel that in my body, I come up with a list of possible actions:
Intermittent fasting, eat only organic foods, no sugar, eat more lean protein, lots of beans, nuts, lots of plants, drink a gallon of water, walk daily, use exercise bike, count calories, bring low calorie frozen meals to work, more coffee, less coffee, do yoga, take stretching classes, see a physical therapist, use a personal trainer, see a nutritionist, build up self-confidence, get a life/self-love coach, join a gym, etc.…. (this list could/should be long)
3 — Identify the most full-of-potential, biggest bang-for-your-buck action steps. Perhaps:
- Hire/consult a coach — someone who can give personalized fitness and nutrition advice for getting stronger AND losing ___ pounds. Instead of mish-mashing strategies and advice, the intention here is to follow one expert’s methodology. Screen for someone who’s approach makes sense and inspires me. This is a pathway toward getting stronger and leaner.
- Do gentle yoga videos at home that focus on stretching, breathing, and building mindfulness. Screen for videos/practices that help open my body and emphasize mindfulness so I can become more aware of my thoughts + learn how to handle them. This is a pathway toward greater mobility, fewer aches and pains, and less uncontrolled negative/self-critical thinking.
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If there are any parts of your life where you feel like you’re spinning—like you’re trying to grow/improve/change, but you’re not getting anywhere—this shift may be useful.
Rather than putting your head down and grinding away, pause: 1) cultivate a clear vision 2) identify possible steps 3) discern the highest-impact steps and just do those.
If this is helpful for you, please share it with one friend!
If you could use some help strategizing, let’s book a free call to see if I can assist.
Bottomline: work smarter, not harder. At least try it for science.