What made you feel most yourself this year?
A friend posed this to me the other day after reading the prompt in her journal. It’s an interesting angle for reflection.
The question essentially asks what made us feel the best, but it implies something key: We’re most ourselves when we’re at our best. How easy it is to forget that. We (and other people) are not defined by our dark moments, faults and flaws. The truth of who we are shines through in the bright spots.
But that comforting premise aside, our responses to the question can offer some valuable insights and direction. It’s worth pondering.
The things that come to mind for me are the vacation I took with my husband, some of my workout classes and the quality time I had with people I love.
There’s nothing earth-shattering about any of that on the surface, but when I dig in a little more, there is some actionable intel.
For example, this is the first year that vacation has made its way to a list like this. I felt so unburdened, so light and free when traveling with just my husband for the first time since our kids were born. Does this suggest that we need more vacations next year? Maybe. Probably.
But more importantly, it underscores something I already know: I need more support at home. Next year, I need to continue exploring how I can shift both logistics and my perspective to bring more of those vibes into my day-to-day. More lightness, ease, fun … joy.
Which leads me to the second question for free-writing, or if nothing else, contemplating.
Forget about New Year’s resolutions and goals, in one word, what is your intention for the new year?
I don’t have a final answer yet, but a few of the words I just mentioned are good possibilities.
If you take a few minutes to free-write a response to the first question, it might lead you to your response to this one.
Or like me, you may not land on one word right away. That’s fine. You have time, and there’s nothing immediate to be done with your word anyway. It doesn’t offer an assignment per se, but if we can land on something that feels right as this year comes to a close, we may have all the direction and inspiration we need heading into 2023.
Instead of stress-inducing resolutions based on lack and deficiency, a simple, one-word guidepost that comes from reflecting on our bright spots might be more freeing, and just the right amount of structure.
You may not be the journaling type. I get it. I go through phases. But consider these questions, either in discussion with a friend or in a brief free-write. It doesn’t need to take more than 10 minutes. I’m often amazed by how helpful my journal can be. Contemplating can sometimes yield to ruminating and be aimless and black hole-ish, but externalizing thoughts (on paper or in conversation) can be enlightening. Give it a try.
It’s so gosh darn easy to focus on the things that went wrong and all the stuff we need/want to change. But this exercise prompts us to attend to positivity and let that pave the way ahead.
It feels like accentuating the “happy” as we start getting ready to say “Happy New Year.”