I’ve been working on myself for a while.
I exercise, pay attention to what I eat, occasionally get enough sleep.
I do other random stuff too: I journal, keep my house sort of organized (as much as possible with 3- and 4-year-olds and a less-organizationally-inclined husband). Oh, and I take good care of my skin.
I’ve been doing lots of things, in various forms, for a long time. But I’m not saying this to brag. I’m saying it in my own defense — because I’m still a hot mess.
One thing that’s become crystal clear to me over the years is that all this stuff is good. For sure, it makes a difference and helps me feel better. And it’s not enough.
Really feeling and living well requires addressing what goes on in our heads. Our mindsets shape it all.
I harp on this a lot these days. I’m still fully grasping it and figuring out what to do with this information. All I know for sure is that it’s critical.
Our mindsets determine how we see things, and how we respond. How quickly we bounce back from a blow. How oriented we are toward joy.
There’s a lot we can’t control in this life, but we can choose our mindsets and actively, lovingly work on making them stronger, healthier, brighter. But that takes some training. Just like physical health requires ongoing physical exercise, building and maintaining a healthy mindset takes some concerted effort, too.
This is why I started something called “Mindset Workouts.” It’s a new program featuring one simple exercise each week. The intention is to get into better shape — in our heads.
Here’s what we’re doing this week: mental noting.
It’s pretty well accepted that change starts with awareness. This week’s exercise is all about building that up.
The practice is to pay attention to whenever you notice a level of unease creep up, in one form or another. When you notice it, make a mental note of what’s going on. Do this silently, in just one word, which you might repeat a few times to yourself.
For example, I often find myself feeling panicked about my kids. The idea is to catch that, and since the best word to describe what I’m doing in that moment is “worrying,” I then gently say “worrying” in my head two to three times.
Or, say I notice myself feeling bummed, a little down and out. I might check in and note that I’m “judging” or “comparing.”
Other ones I find myself using often: stressing, resisting, clinging.
I tend to stick with words that end in “ing” — ones that sum up what I’m doing. Occasionally, when I can’t pinpoint that, I just name the prevailing emotion and note how it feels in my body. But this is it — it’s all this process involves. I’m not suggesting we change anything. Just observe. Just note.
The point of this exercise is to bring more awareness and consciousness to what’s happening in our minds, specifically in tense moments when it’s easy to check out or auto-react.
I sometimes find doing this gives me a bit of relief in a tense moment. It helps me disentangle from whatever I’m caught up in. But whether that’s the case or not, at a minimum, it increases self-awareness, which isn’t ever in vain. Getting more familiar with our own thoughts is a key aspect of mindset health.
So, give this exercise a try this week, and consider joining my weekly Mindset Workouts program. I think it feels good to positively and proactively work on ourselves, and it feels even better to do that in community. We do physical exercises together, why not exercise our mindsets together too?
I would love to see you in the program, but either way, dig into noting this week, and consider how you can chisel your mindset more and more — it’s a really important muscle.