Mental discipline doesn’t sound like a blast, but it’s a game changer. If there’s a secret to happiness, this is it.
Learning to step out of our ruminating, negative, erratic thoughts and create a more positive mindset takes focus and effort.
I started talking about this in last week’s column, where I shared how feeling physical sensation in our bodies is a useful way to disentangle from our thoughts. It can be such a powerful move — getting us out of our heads and into the present moment — that it occasionally triggers moments of profound clarity. It’s usually more subtle, though: Feeling into our bodies helps remove us from the chatter in our heads.
This week, more on that.
The way that I think about it, disciplining our minds has three distinct parts.
First — starting to notice what’s going on in our heads. Becoming more aware of our thoughts. Meditation helps build this skill.
Second — choosing which thoughts to listen to and which to ignore and let pass. After developing more awareness of our thoughts in general, this becomes more natural.
Third — cultivating positivity. This is what I’d like to dig deeper into here.
Cultivating positivity doesn’t mean “thinking happy thoughts.”
It means building habits that lift us up and induce positivity and bright, loving, purposeful, high-vibe thoughts. There are a lot of ways to do this. Following is a list of ideas you can pick through and decide which to focus on.
No. 1 is required, but the rest are optional.
- Have a clear vision for the person you want to become
- Random acts of kindness and generosity
- Helping others, volunteering
- Meditate on positive emotions
- Gratitude practice
- Spiritual life
- Prayer
- Daily intentions or affirmations
- Community and social connection
- Exercise
- Being in a beautiful place
Let’s talk about No. 1.
I think we all need to know where we’re going. We all want to grow. But how exactly would you like to grow? And what do you want to move toward?
Imagine your ideal scenario, and don’t be deterred by all the reasons it “can’t” happen. Just let yourself dream! Picture yourself living that scenario. How does it feel? Try it on and make stepping into this persona a part of your daily routine, in one way or another.
This is a bold move, but it churns up a tremendous amount of positivity and gives us energized direction. As we clear out space in our heads by letting go of negative thoughts, it helps to have a clear, embodied sense of where we’re going.
This process may initiate changes to our lives and circumstances, or maybe not, but that’s not the point or reason why it’s critical. It’s critical because it lifts our thoughts and mindset to a higher level. It’s part of training our minds for a higher quality experience of life.
Now take a moment to circle back to the other items on the list. Which ones jump out at you, either because they seem practical or exciting?
I think it’s important to have some level of ritual around at least two or three of these. Having a routine around these things is what makes them have a real impact on our default mindsets.
For example, you might make waking up and doing a gentle yoga class a regular part of your Saturday morning routine. Or you could start writing a list of 10 things you’re grateful for every day. I do this on a whiteboard in the morning, but you could also do it in your journal or on your phone.
It might seem time-consuming to come up with a vision and map out precisely when and how to consciously cultivate positivity, but as soon as these initiatives become part of our regular routines, they start paying back. When this stuff becomes habitual, positive thoughts automatically start occupying our minds more often.
And that’s a beautiful place to be.