“It doesn’t always feel easy to choose kindness, curiosity, authenticity or courage. And these things always make (life) easier.”
Nancy Perry, co-owner of Big Power Yoga in Houston, wrote that on her blog, and it slapped me in the face this week.
She went on to offer this piece of encouragement: “Make life easier by choosing the thing that makes life easier, even when it feels hard.”
Boom.
I don’t know about you, but that really lands for me. Probably in part because I read it at precisely the right time: in the middle of a disagreement with my husband.
It was a dumb argument that started over a piece of mail, but hours after our rough encounter, I was still festering. I could barely focus or function. I kept trying to work, but there was nothing productive about my efforts. I attempted several times to start several different things, all in vain. I ended up mindlessly scrolling Amazon, then Facebook. Then I got a snack. … It was a waste.
Then I saw Nancy’s blog. It stopped me in my tracks because it totally called me out.
I could continue to stew and cling to my rightness in a childish argument where we both acted foolishly, or I could do something braver — something that felt unpleasant and irritatingly hard. I could soften and go tell my love I was sorry. I could extend an olive branch. I could choose peace over being right. It probably would make things better (and easier) on the other end.
I was too caught up in my ego and indignation to come to this on my own, but after Nancy’s wake-up call, the path was clear. I swallowed my pride and marched myself up to my husband’s home office, hesitation and resistance and all.
I was brimming with discomfort, and I did it anyway: I walked into the room and wholeheartedly said I was sorry. And Nancy was right.
We didn’t talk for long, but we both apologized, and the rest of the day had a much better flow. For both of us.
My head was clearer and my heart was lighter. I actually got some work done. He seemed to have better success in that department, too.
This kind of thing can come up in a lot of different ways. It’s worth keeping in mind: Sometimes we need to do what feels hard in the name of making things easy. Choosing virtue and integrity often falls in that box. It feels vulnerable. It involves discomfort. But it gets us out of our own way and creates a clearing that ultimately makes life easier.
The easy button has a sense of humor.