It’s painfully easy to miss out on life.
We run around, busily doing, doing, doing, in perpetual pursuit of the next moment, the next day, the next bite, the next task.
We so rarely stop. But in not stopping—in staying on the treadmill—we miss out on a lot.
This has been abundantly clear to me lately.
A few weeks ago, I decided to “up-level” my life. I recommitted my practices (meditation, journaling, my gratitude board…all the things), as I’ve been longing for more ease and flow in my days.
What’s emerged?
A higher level of resistance, struggle and irritation, along with the dawning realization of more precisely what I need: to just be present.
It has started to occur to me that everything I seek—a rich, beautiful, connected, fulfilling, joyful, brimming-with-possibility experience in this precious life—is within sight, but I need to stop and open my eyes to what’s right in front of me.
Yes, doing all the practices that help me become more connected and in touch with what matters is key, but I also don’t have to try so hard all the time.
Kicking my life up a few notches will likely come less from changing anything structurally or doing more, more, more. Instead, I’m sensing it will naturally emerge as I choose to fully embody what I already have.
It wasn’t always quite this way. There have been times when big changes were in order. But when I think back, even in those times, stopping and being in the moment was essential.
I remember a few years ago, my husband at the time had just left. All my family lived 2,000 miles away, and I was a wreck. I had no idea how to move forward — emotionally or logistically. I was lost.
Sometime in the middle of it all, I said to a good friend, “When I think about the past, I’m devastated. When I think about the future, I’m terrified. I’m okay… when I just stay right here.”
She told me to write that down.
When I was just present, I wasn’t crippled by pain and terror, and I was ultimately able to take the next right step — one by one, moment by moment.
I’m starting to appreciate that regardless of our circumstances, more deeply and consciously inhabiting the present moment always makes things better.
But how do you do it?
I’m embarrassed to admit this, but I’ve recently felt like I don’t know how to get off the treadmill. I forgot. I’m juggling so many things, I don’t know how to stop.
On the bright side, once I realized this, a handful of teachers and lessons literally dropped into my lap (like my 1-year-old son, who is so awake and present—he’s leading me by example).
Another teaching that landed before me is a mindfulness technique called “stopping,” which, paired with a regular meditation practice, feels fairly fluid and natural.
The idea is to occasionally press pause on life.
Here’s how it was explained to me:
In any given moment, stop what you’re doing.
Pause, and zoom in as if you’re blowing up a picture on an iPhone. Take a deep breath and see everything about where you are. Take in the full picture: the colors, the light, who’s around, what you feel, the smell, sounds, taste. Freeze the moment, stretch it and drink it in entirely.
You can practice this anytime: when you pick up your fork or walk up the stairs. It’s especially great when you experience something beautiful: a child, a flower.
This can happen in a matter of seconds, and for me, lots of brief timeouts throughout the day have been going well. Sometimes, like when I’m with my kids, they’re a bit longer. There’s no right or wrong way.
The point is to recognize that it’s necessary to step off the treadmill. At least from time to time, stop the usual momentum, and arrive.
From what I understand, over time, these little moments of presence start to gain traction and permeate into more of our experience.
But hey, one step at a time.
Start right here.