I’ve noticed a common habit among the most successful people I know.
It’s a basic skill I’ve witnessed in TV personalities, businesspeople and my happiest friends: They’ve learned to detect and discard their overly self-critical, destructive thoughts. They intercept self-sabotage early and often.
One friend once told me she literally says “delete” when these thoughts creep in.
I was reminded of this recently when I watched Taylor Swift’s “Miss Americana” documentary on Netflix. In one scene, Swift talks about how seeing unflattering photos of herself on newsstands used to trigger a tailspin of destructive thoughts and behaviors.
But not anymore. Now, the singer says she catches herself before sinking into a dark abyss. She says some version of, “No, we don’t do that” to her inner critic and carries on.
Successful people don’t have zero self-doubt. They just don’t listen to it. Whenever the voice in their heads moves from productive to unfriendly, they put a foot down. Over time, that voice, knowing it’s unwelcome, pops up less and less.
If you have a habit of being your own worst enemy, give this a try. Its takes self-awareness and practice, but it’s a powerful way to stop self-sabotaging and display self-love. Be relentless with it. And try taking it a step further, complimenting yourself while you let the negativity go.
As we get out of our own way, a brighter and gentler experience opens up. Anything is possible from there.