Don’t Take Anything Personally
Here are some of the ways that I practice this week’s tip (watch the video for WHY this is so important).
This list focuses on how to handle people who are trying to tear you down. People that do not have your best interest at heart.
- Give yourself a pat on the back when someone is critical.
Generally speaking, if someone is critical of you, it’s because you have put yourself out there. You have chosen not to be a wallflower. You have stepped up and chosen to be bold. Be proud of that! Everyone that dares to be seen will be criticized. It’s not possible to be genuinely successful while crouching in your comfort zone. So give yourself a pat on the back for being brave. Trust that your vulnerability will be rewarded.
- Love yourself.
People being unkind to you provides a golden opportunity for you to be kind to yourself. Instead of jumping on the bandwagon with the haters and getting down on yourself too, recognize the opportunity to practice self-care. This decision alone can be life-changing. So many of our problems stem from a lack of self-love. We hold ourselves back and sabotage our own success in clear and subtle ways. Whether you notice this in yourself or not, use criticism as a reminder that higher levels of success, health, and happiness come from loving and approving of ourselves. Tell yourself you are valuable. Know that. Again, honor yourself for being bold. Criticism can definitely sting, but when it comes up, bring these thoughts and feelings into view as well. Someone can try to take you down, but they actually help raise your potential.
- Know it’s not about you.
As the video explains, how we see things actually says more about ourselves than anything else. Consider that the person giving you feedback may be talking about themselves more than you. This might help you to have compassion for the person and let it go.
- Recognize a troll.
I read this tip online. It’s particularly useful when feedback is anonymous or through an intermediary (i.e. internet comments or through another person). This kind of feedback, when aggressive, is chickenshit. Anyone with real concerns can address you kindly and directly. Any other way is cowardly and not worth your time. Recognize trolls, wish them well (no need to get worked up!), and move on with your life.
- Find a role model.
I have a few friends that are amazing at not taking things personally. They inspire me. Some celebrities seem exceptional at this too. Find a role model and remember how they shake things off.